Sunday, September 6, 2009

BACK TO THE FOOT OF THE CROSS

"Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness
shine like the dawn, the justice of
your cause like the noonday sun.
"
(Psalm 37:5-6)

Last night I stayed up really late trying to finish an interview I was transcribing, and as I fell exhausted into bed, the Lord spoke eight little words to me (not audibly, but by way of that still small voice within)--you are wound up tighter than a corkscrew. Huh? Me? I never would have thought. And yet, once the words were spoken I suddenly became aware of just how tense and knotted up my body really felt. How could I have missed that? And exhausted as I was, my mind was still in a whirl with a barrage of thoughts just tumbling all over each other.

The last few months flashed before my eyes. The frustration of trying to cram more into each day than is humanly possible, the rushing from one thing to the next as a result, the inability to achieve balance in my life and letting work take over more and more of my time. Why?

I thought I was laid back, I thought my trust was in the Lord and His provision, I thought, I thought, I thought. What a rude awakening to see that what I thought was not fact at all. If I was really laid back, why was my body all tied up in knots, and if I was trusting in the Lord to provide for all my needs, why was I so fearful that if I didn't work harder and faster, the work would go to someone else? That sounds more like trying to be in control than trusting God and being willing to step outside my comfort zone.

So back to the Cross I go to lay it all down again, and truly commit my way to the Lord. That means letting Him decide what I need to do, and allowing Him to order my steps and orchestrate my time. He sees the whole picture, and knows what is best. Plus He loves me unconditionally (and you too), and never gives up on us--no matter how many times we fall.

How fitting that I write this as Labor Day draws to a close, harboring the end of a season and the beginning of the next. I too am leaving an old way behind and embarking on a new adventure. I can't wait to see what this chapter holds in store!