"For it is God who is at work within you, giving you
the will and the power to achieve his purpose."
My big aha moment came while I was sitting in the prayer room at church this morning, practically in tears, begging the Lord to help me follow through on my commitments to exercise on a regular basis and keep up with my household chores. Even having an accountability partner hasn't helped. I start each day with good intentions to follow through, but then I start procrastinating, get distracted by other tasks, and before I know it, the day is over and I've done a zillion things other than the two at the top of my list.
"How petty," some of you may be thinking. "Why don't you just pull yourself up by the boot straps and use some self control, for goodness sakes." Well, there was a time I might have responded the same way, but have since had to eat some humble pie, which makes me very, very grateful that God does not think the way we do, you or I.
The response to my plea may not have been audible, but it was very clear. I was reminded of Philippians 4:13 (see verse at top of page), as well as Step 1 of all 12-step programs--"We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable." The problem has to be acknowledged before healing can begin, and it doesn't have to be as glaring a problem as substance abuse. Nothing is too big or small to bring to the Lord. Not even my inability to stick to an exercise routine.
Today, for the first time, it finally sank in how powerless I am over everything. When things are going well it's so easy to pat myself on the back and believe I'm in control, but the reality is that it's only by His grace. God alone deserves all the glory and all the thanks for every blessing and achievement in my life.
Maybe my present frustrations are His reminders that, appearances to the contrary, there is nothing I can do in my own strength. I can, however, do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and therein lies my hope.