October 7, 2018

CHOOSING TO TRUST GOD

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and
sisters, whenever you face trials of
many kinds, because you know that
the testing of your faith produces
perseverance. Let perseverance 
finish its work so that you may be
mature and complete, not lacking 
anything.  -- (James 1:2-4 NIV)

It's been almost a year since my last post, and when I looked it up to check the format, I was surprised to see the same verse prefacing it as the one above.  "Trials of many kinds" seem to have been a recurring theme. even then

Those of you who know me, or who have read my book, Oil of Myrrh, are probably familiar with the severe  needle phobia that plagued my early years, as well as the unexpected crash course I was subjected to during a lengthy hospital stay in January. Now it's exam time, and I wonder if I'm ready to pass it. How will I handle the hurdle of back to back trips to frustrated phlebotomists trying unsuccessfully to draw blood from collapsed veins? Will I be able to keep my focus on the Lord and trust Him to the end?

I re-read Oil of Myrrh, zeroing in on the chapter, "Night of a Thousand Needles."  I think of how God was with me as I hovered between life and death, and through everything else I endured on the road to recovery. I remember the revelations and insights that only an incident such as this could have provided, and how it gave me confidence to fearlessly opt for open heart surgery a couple of months later. However, I also remember the way I wavered when faced with an unexpected bump in the road while being prepped for surgery. Neither the prepping nurses, nor the anaesthesiologist, were able to find a vein to start the intravenous drip going, and even after a pediatric nurse with a perinatal needle came to my rescue and spoke words of encouragement to me, my faith felt shatered.

So far I have made it through two trips, to two different phlebotomists in two different facilities, and tomorrow I will be making a third trip. As I write this post, I try to take my focus off of what will happen if they still can't find a blood yielding vein and, instead, place it on how God has had my back every step of the way. Even when things didn't play out the way I expected them to, He has never failed me. I choose to trust Him and leave the outcome in His hands.