Spiritually, I thirst. I thirst for God in what feels like a dry and exhausting land, but my thoughts are jumbled.
I pray for the Lord to develop my inner strength so that I won't cave in when I'm buffeted by life's unexpected blows and tribulations, but I do so with fear and trepidation because I know that in order for that prayer to be answered I will need to face some storms and I am a real wimp where physical pain is concerned.
Even though I know that storms are doorways to greater dependency and intimacy with the Lord, and that perfect peace is the result of trusting Him in all things instead of worrying about them or trying to take control and get them to turn out the way I want them to, it is still a challenge to stop striving and keep my eyes focused on Jesus no matter how things may be looking in the natural.
One day I know I will look back on my present storm and realize (which I am already starting to do), that what seemed like the worst of times was really the best of times even though it didn't seem like it at the time, because that's when God was able to get a grip of my heart and change my desires to seeking His face instead of His hand. It was when I truly grasped (not just in my head) my neediness and His sovereignty over all my circumstances, and that His plan and His timing truly are better than mine as He sees the whole picture, the end from the beginning, which I do not.
This, and the reminder that I never have to face anything alone. No matter what challenges lie before me, Jesus, my good Shepherd, is right there beside me, walking through them with me.
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