I FEEL WEARY

"Come to me, all you who are weary 

and burdened, and I will give you 

rest. -- Matthew 11:28, NIV

On May 31st my virtual job of 23 years doing data entry and transcription came to an end. June 1st was supposed to be the first day of a new chapter of my life. A blank page waiting to be written on.  

For days I anticipated the beginning of this new chapter and being able to write about it in the brand new notebook that had been part of the parting gift the company that was closing its doors sent us. I prayed for the Lord to give me a special verse for this new season, and scribbled notes about how I would start off my narrative.

There was supposed to be a prologue I would write on the eve of June 1st containing my thoughts about all the endings in a long string of endings, all the dreams and resolutions that came to naught, and the things that didn't turn out the way they were expected to (except they probably had, according to God's perfect plan). It was supposed to be a time of getting all of it out of my system and leaving it behind so the new chapter about to begin really would be as blank as the new page in my new notebook.

Well, June 1st came and went, and despite my best intentions I procrastinated, just as I have procrastinated so many times before about so many things, and there was no verse, and this chapter did not start off any differently than the ones that went before. In fact, if anything, my challenges seem to have multiplied.

I feel so, so weary, discouraged, and overwhelmed. Like a bop bag that has been bopped so many times it has developed a slow leak that is making it harder and harder to pop back up again. And so here I am back to this blog, seeking comfort at the foot of the Cross. I lay it all down at His feet and pray for another chance to get it right.

On this day, almost three weeks later than I intended, I am starting to write on the first blank page of my notebook--except that this blog will serve as my notebook instead. And the verse I feel led to use for this stretch of my journey, even though it's not actually a Scripture verse, is a quote a blog friend wrote on my other blog in response to my request for suggestions: There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind. -- C.S. Lewis

I am so grateful that God never gives up on us, that He is so patient and longsuffering, that His mercies and grace are new every morning, that He loves us unconditionally, and that great is His faithfulness. I pray that as I share what the Lord is teaching me and doing in my life it will encourage you as well. 

Even though we can't change what has already been written in our story, we can change the way it ends. It is never too late for a fresh start. All things are possible with God!