JUST A FLEETING MEMORY

 

It seems like a lifetime ago--and it was--and I rarely give it a thought anymore. But today I did--just for a fleeting moment.

The date popped out at me as I was reading one of my devotionals--a reminder (after I counted it out on my fingers) that today would have been 63 years.

My eyes teared up for a couple of seconds as I wondered what might have been. 

WITS' END CORNER

PERSEVERE 1

...they were at their wits' end. 

Then they cried out to the 

LORD in their trouble, and he 

brought them out of their 

distress.  (Psalm 107:27-28)

Loved this poem about not getting discouraged that was part of today's devotion in one of my favorite devotionals--Streams in the Desert. 

Are you standing at "Wits' End Corner,"

      Christian, with troubled brow?

Are you thinking of what is before you,

      And all you are bearing now?

Does all the world seem against you,

      And you in the battle alone?

Remember--at "Wits' End Corner"

      Is just where God's power is shown.

Are you standing at "Wits' End Corner,"

      Blinded with wearying pain,

Feeling you cannot endure it,

      You cannot bear the strain,

Bruised through the constant suffering,

      Dizzy and dazed and numb?

Remember--at "Wits' End Corner"

      Is where Jesus loves to come.

Are you standing at "Wits' End Corner"?

      Your work before you spread,

All lying begun, unfinished,

      And pressing on heart and head,

Longing for strength to do it,

      Stretching out trembling hands?

Remember--at "Wits' End Corner"

      The Burden-Bearer stands,

Are you standing at "Wits' End Corner"?

      Then you're just in the very spot

To learn the wondrous resources

      Of Him who fails you not:

No doubt to a brighter pathway

      Your footsteps will soon be moved,

But only at "Wits' End Corner"

      Is the "God who is able" proved. -- Antoinette Wilson

(Copied from Streams in the Desert, May 23)

THE GIFT OF MYRRH

A sentence that jumped out at me from one of my devotionals: "No human heart can imagine the incomparable love God expresses in His gift of myrrh."

It triggered memories from several years ago when for a brief moment in time I did.  

JUST A JUMBLE OF THOUGHTS

Thoughts come and thoughts go, as do the tears that flow down my face in tune to the rain outside my window that seems to ebb and flow as well.

For weeks I've been wanting to put my thoughts here, scribbled notes on little pieces of paper, started writing several posts even, but then gotten sidetracked and lost my train of thought.  This jumble is all that's left.

The tears were triggered by something silly in the big scheme of things. They were a response to thoughts I woke up with about the comfortable sofas that had been removed from the lobby of my church, leaving the space bare, with nowhere to sit. 

Gone was the warm, welcoming space where you could meet up with a friend during the week, the quiet spot where members of our Stephens Ministry could minister to folks they were mentoring, the place you could sit down with someone on Sunday in need of a listening ear.  When I bought it up to the powers that be, I was expected to understand it had to be done because of the growing numbers of people attending services, but I don't understand.

More tears over other things lost that have come with age and my present circumstances, as well as tears over regretted poor choices that have led me to this place. 

Tears over losses of friends and tears for those who are still here but suffering with far worse issues than I have ever had to deal with. Tears over loved ones who passed away without ever coming to Jesus, and over those I've been praying for who are close to doing the same. 

Buckets of tears over a financial pit I've been trying so hard to dig myself out of but that just keeps getting deeper, and not understanding why when God actually tells us to prove Him (in Malachi 3:10) and He always has before, but not now. And yet I know He is not a man that He should lie (Numbers 23:19) and that all His promises are yes and Amen (2 Corinthians 1:20, Joshua 23:14).

In times past, I would try to "help" God along by taking matters into my own hands. That is never a good idea. In one major incident that always comes to mind, it would have gone far better for me had I not jumped to conclusions and just waited patiently on the Lord. Instead, two chapters of my memoir, Sincerely Wrong: An Improbable Journey (chapters 19 and 20) are devoted to the disastrous results. 

There was a devotion in one of my favorite devotionals about this very thing several days ago. It spoke about impatience being a lack of faith and trust in God.  A similar thought appeared in another devotion a couple of days later, that described worry as unbelief parading in disguise.

I know that I know that I know that God will take care of my challenge in His perfect way and in His perfect time. He always has and He always will. This time around I will just keep on keeping on the best I can, and trust Him with the outcome.