"So I will restore to you the years that
the swarming locust has eaten ... You
shall eat in plenty and be satisfied,
And praise the name of the Lord your God,
Who has dealt wondrously with you.
(Joel 2:25-26)
Life was bittersweet. The Lord was revealing Himself to me in awesome ways, and yet I felt isolated. There were parking issues in my development that made it difficult to invite people over. Neighbors were very transient and pretty much kept to themselves. On top of that, I was in a cold, cold church where I never felt I belonged. I stayed for eight years because the teaching was sound and it was close to home.
I felt as though the Lord had put me on the shelf, and would wonder if He was ever going to take me down, but after a while those thoughts grew less and less, and I settled in to a resigned sort of contentment--well, most of the time. Other times I would think of the friends I went to school with who had lived successful lives and were now enjoying retirement or semiretirement, whereas due to the poor choices I had made, there was no retirement in my future.
I didn't really mind the fact that I would have to keep on working, because I enjoy what I do, but I did have regrets about wasting my talents and opportunities, and not having been a better parent. I would get this overwhelming feeling of remorse at having squandered my life and not having anything to show for it. Even worse, there was no turning back the clock (something I wrote about here, on my other blog).
But God wasn't done with me yet. He still had a "suddenly" up His sleeve, and just as I was getting ready to sign my 12th lease, a chain of unexpected events took place (literally from one day to the next) that led to my moving to an even smaller town. It all happened so suddenly and out of the blue, there was no time for planning. And of course Satan did his best to steal my joy by creating obstacles that made the process of getting from there to here stressful and suspenseful, but the Lord came through in His usual awesome way, only confirming that it was He who had set the whole thing in motion.
It's been almost a year-and-a-half now since I was transported to yet another unfamiliar neck of the woods, but what a blessing it has been. It is a quiet complex, surrounded by beautiful trees, and parking is no issue. The neighbors are really friendly, and my new church home is so, so warm. It's like I've been placed in the middle of a huge, caring family. People actually want to include me and hear what I have to say. And the Lord has given me a new ministry, one I would never have chosen on my own since it is way below my level of comfortability, but one that I know is a privileged responsibility. He has finally taken me off the shelf and is training me to be an intercessor.
My professional friends may be retired now, but I am just getting started. And as for the tragedy of a wasted life, has it really been so? Had I pursued my talents and education to their fullest, would I ever have felt a need for the Lord or for His saving grace? Would I have spent my life chasing after the things the world has to offer, instead of the things that have eternal value? Would I have missed God's gift of salvation instead of my vocation, a greater tragedy by far?
Life has become exciting. I can't wait to see what the Lord is about to do next!
Read all about it in Part V.
PART V Sincerely Wrong
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5 comments:
God knows the path He has for each person. In the end, "the same thing happens to all men." In Heaven, all of us will start out fresh and new. :) :)
Thank you for sharing your story! It is very well-written, too.
I can't wait to read about what He has in store for you next either. Part 5 coming soon! Oh yes! Wow Sandy your testimony brought chills down my spine! I believe you should write a book about your life thus far. I believe there will be many who will read it. Maybe an E-book? I sure would check into it as I know I would buy it!
What a blessing you have been to my life and I will be eternally grateful to God for bringing us together!
God bless and I will be waiting for part 5!
Thanks for sharing the story of how God came through for you...like it was any surprise! I also say that I can't wait to see what God is going to do next. You have a wonderful way with words and I can totally feel the presence of God when I read. You go girl!
I have loved the series about your testimony. We serve a wonderfully merciful and generous God indeed.
Your writing voice is very pleasant to read. To God be the glory!
Your testamony is so touching and an inspiration. It blessed me to read it. We go way back to when we were both baby Christians. I was aware of some of the events which transpired in and throughout your life. God has and continues to use you. Thank you for helping my daughters and I back then. Thank you for your genuine generosity and concern for us. Thank you for true friendship. You are a blessing to many people. Articulation and writing have always been your strong points. Those are gifts/talents which God has given to you. I agree with Valerie Lynn, your writing is captivating and if you ever do decide to write a book, I will buy it. You have gone through the Refiners Fire. Praise God! He has brought you out of darkness and into His marvelous light. God bless you always. I Love you!
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