VERSES I'M CLINGING TO

The Message version of Isaiah 43:2 has felt very comforting lately -- When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.

That, and Micah 7:8 -- Do not rejoice over me, my enemy; When I fall, I will arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD will be a light to me (NKJV).

A CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE IS ALL IT TAKES

Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side
Leave to thy God to order and provide
In every change He faithful will remain
Be still, my soul, thy best, thy heavenly friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

(From hymn Be Still My Soul)

It's amazing how one small incident, so insignificant in the big scheme of things, could trigger unhealed childhood wounds I didn't even know still existed, and create such intense emotional turmoil.

On the plus side, I was able to restrain myself from reacting the way I wanted to, and would have in the past, but it took three rounds before I could do so without a twinge and know I had truly released it and let it go.

Closure, and a summary of the lesson learned, came in the form of this verse and commentary on Job 29-31 in my Daily Walk Bible reading for today.

Be still and know that I am God! (Psalm 46:10a)

The urge to talk, to defend, to demand explanations is strong in all of us. But take a lesson from Job. Sometimes it is preferable--and wiser--to say nothing and merely to listen for the still, small voice of God.

THE LETTER F

 

It's funny how the Lord works, and how He manages to redirect my thoughts in the most unexpected ways.

Today I started writing a frivolous post to distract my mind from weightier issues. 

F is for flower...

F is for fungi...

F is for flashback Friday...

The next F word that came to mind was forgiveness, and what I had written here the other day about an old, old post the Lord had led me to when I asked Him to open my eyes to any unhealed subconscious wounds from my past that were still affecting me, as well as any areas where I might still be harboring unforgiveness. 

And then immediately, as though lit up by flashing neon lights, the word flashback in "F is for flashback Friday," redirecting me to that old post instead of the photo from my archives that I intended to use.

So much for trying to distract my thoughts from weightier issues. That old post was at the very heart of the weightier issue I had been trying to distract myself from. How the other day I thought I had passed the test, but then came two more, and I didn't do as well with them. All they did was show me that I'm still allowing the enemy to use those old memories to push my buttons, and I'm not as unoffendable as I think I am.

I just read and re-read that old post again and realized that it contains the very solution I'm looking for. Who would have thought that the Lord would bring to my attention something I wrote 15 years ago and didn't even remember. What more proof do I need that He really does bring anything I write, however long ago it was written, to the attention of anyone He intends it to be read by--even me.

THE TEST

Writing in my journal during my quiet time this morning (as part of my homework on forgiveness and emotional wounds), I coudn't really think of anyone I needed to forgive, or any unhealed emotional wounds that I'm still being affected by, but the Lord proved me wrong.

I was writing out a prayer asking Him to open my eyes to any areas in my subconscious where I was still harboring unforgiveness, and to reveal any unconscious wounds that still weren't healed. And, just like that, He did. 

He took me way, way back to a blog post I wrote 15 years ago. It was a post so old I didn't remember writing it. Nor did I remember the incident I wrote about, or the friend I mentioned, but it did bring back some memories of old wounds inflicted in childhood and early adulthood. 

I thought they were healed though, because they just felt like old memories with no real emotion attached to them anymore--like an old scar or scab might be. Why was the Lord showing me this? 

I already knew this was what lay behind my tendency to jump to conclusions and feel slighted and upset when people seem to ignore me, or when they don't respond to texts or e-mails. Even though it still bothers me some, I thought I had come a long way in my quest to live an unoffendable life.

Well, there was an unexpected Part 2 coming, where the Lord would allow me to be tested to measure my progress.

THE TEST:  I shared the link to my post, along with my insights, with my group leader and asked if it would be appropriate to share on our study group FB page. She gave a very enthusiastic yes, so I did, and it was promptly removed. 

MY GRADE: I don't think my grade on the test was as good as I would have liked it to be, as my first knee-jerk reaction was, "I'm never going to share anything on that page again." But, neither could it have been too bad, because I pretty quickly caught myself and switched my focus away from the thoughts and conclusions that were starting to infiltrate my mind, to the many times the Lord has shown me that He can bring anything I write, however long ago it was written, to the attention of anyone (one or many) He intends it to be read by. My job is to keep writing and leave the results to Him. 

BELIEVING THE LIES

You saw me before I was born. 

Every day of my life was 

recorded in your book. Every 

moment was laid out before 

a single day had passed.

(Psalm 139:16, NLT)

I'd been struggling with my bible study homework on the topic of recognizing and breaking free from the lies we believe and replacing them with truths from God's Word. Trying to discern what really is a lie and what I wish was a lie, but really isn't.

There are things in my life that look as though they will never change, but the Lord has been showing me that they are changing--I'm just missing it because it's not happening the way I expected/wanted it to.

Sometimes things are very intricate. It's not always just about me, but rather about the part He created me to play in His story, and how He may allow one thing to happen to bring about another, and it's only in retrospect that I get to understand why things played out the way they did.

It's all about trusting that no matter how things may be looking in the natural, God is in control and working everything out according to His perfect plan. It's about remembering that even though it may not seem so perfect to me at this particular moment in time, it's because I'm just seeing an incomplete part of it. Only He sees the end from the beginning.

Once again the Lord has used one of my plants to illustrate a point. I'm thinking of my tomato plant out on the balcony. Despite being invaded by this year's plague of spotted lanternflies that stripped it of most of its leaves, it has continued to do what it was created to do without giving any thought to lies suggesting it would not be able to survive the infestation.

It was a late bloomer, but has produced (and is still producing), the best crop of cherry tomatoes I've ever been able to grow. Although it's not a bumper crop by any means, there's at least a couple every day that are ready to be picked, and they are perfectly healthy and delicious--unlike previous years when they had blossom end rot or some other such deficiency-caused blemish.

My friend, who know much more about plants than I do, claims it's because the lanternflies have kept the plant naturally pruned, destroying the leaves on it, so that the tomatoes could get all the nutrients they needed. 

To me, that is a good illustration of something that does not look so good at first serving a good purpose after all.

THINGS I'M PONDERING IN MY MIND

I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were

not yet ready for it.  (1 Corinthians 3:2a, NIV)

After being out of debt for many years my finances took a turn south, and no matter how hard I've tried to work my way out of it, I feel as though I'm sinking deeper and deeper into a bottomless pit.

For quite some time now I've been praying for the Lord to show me what I need to see, or what it is that He is tryng to teach me through this very challenging season.  I pray for Him to help me understand why back in the day, bible verses such as Malachi 3:10 and Luke 6:38 were so easy to believe--a crumpled $20 bill on my way out of a store, an unexpected check in the mail, a huge tip on a small job, a quarter in the middle of a puddle when I stepped out of my car and realized I had no change to feed the meter with. Back then it was much easier to have strong faith that did not waver.

I have heard it said that life is like a classroom, and the trials and challenges that come our way are like the tests we are given in school to monitor our progress. As we get promoted to the next grade, the tests get harder. From that perspective, maybe back then, like the verse I quoted above says, I still needed to be fed milk to grow my faith and was not yet ready for solid food.

As if to confirm that thought, I came across a post I had written way back in 2011 while searching for something (unrelated to this post) on my blog. It was a post I didn't even remember having written, entitled His Grace Is Sufficient For Me, that started with a quote by F. B. Meyer--"...whenever our earthly stream or any other outer resource has dried up, it has been allowed so we may learn that our hope and help are in God, who made heaven and earth." 

The Lord still makes a way where there seems to be no way, even if it's not the way I would prefer. The bills get paid on time, and my immediate needs are met, but not as dramatically as they were in those early days when my debt would probably have been paid off as well. 

That old post reminded me to keep my eyes on the Lord and put my full trust in Him and in His perfect timing instead of trying to make things happen in my own strength and in the way I think they should. It reassured me that when I have mastered my current lesson and passed the test, I will be delivered out of my temporary pit. 

FEELING CONVICTED NOT CONDEMNED

Satan accuses and condemns us, but the Holy Spirit convicts.

Even though I have long known this in my head, it's a truth that only just made its way into my heart during a recent quiet time when the Holy Spirit gently convicted me of my need to change the thoughts I've been having and the words I've been speaking. There was nothing accusatory about it. 

I also felt a tender admonishment to fear less and trust more as my gaze fell on the wildflowers blooming on my balcony despite being swarmed and ravaged by spotted lanternflies. 

And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? (Matthew 6:30, NLT)

A TIME OF REFRESHING

Why am I discouraged? Why is

my heart so sad? I will put my

hope in God! I will praise him

again--my Savior and my God!

(Psalm 43:5, NLT)

Feeling weary from lack of sleep and seemingly unending challenges, I felt the need for a day of rest, of being able to sleep in and not even bother getting dressed unless I wanted to. So I stayed home from church today and had a mini retreat. Just me and the Lord.

During my quiet time, which is how I start my days, I picked up a tabbed notebook I used to document the amazing things the Lord  was doing in my life in. The tabs were of His names (Jehovah Jireh, Jehovan Rapha, Jehovah Shammah, etc.) and I would post the miracles under the appropriate tab. So many reminders of the myriads of times the Lord had miraculously showed up in unexpected ways. Why indeed should I feel weary or discouraged.

By the time I was done reading through it, I felt refreshed and filled with renewed hope and encouragement. 

Even though it does not change the facts, what an amazing difference a change of perspective can make in the way we experience them.

A SYMBOL OF HOPE

 

Feeling grateful for a day full of unexpected promise and hope that ended with a glimpse of this beautiful rainbow.

My heart is overflowing.

GOD'S ANTIDOTE FOR ANXIETY

This is the day that the LORD

has made; let us rejoice and be

glad in it. (Psalm 118:24, ESV)

Instead of continuing to fret over circumstances I have no control over, prayers that remain unanswered even though I don't understand the reason why, and the worrisome "what ifs" that were filling my mind, I finally decided to follow Jesus' exhortation to stay focused on the present. 

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:34, BSB)

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? So if you cannot do such a small thing, why do you worry about the rest? (Luke 17:25-26, BSB)

Our brains can only focus on one thing at a time, and I have intentionally been training mine to stay focused on the present moment and what is within my power to do right now, and trust in God's plan and His timing for the rest instead of second-guessing His intentions and trying to help Him when things don't seem to be progressing the way I anticipated they should or would. 

The truth is (and this is not my original thought) that yesterday is gone and we are not promised tomorrow. Today is all we have. It is a gift from God, which is why it is called the present.

So many things we worry about never come to pass, and while we are busy worrying about them, we miss the blessings and opportunities right under our nose. I wonder if that's where the idiom "Take time to smell the roses," comes from.

AN ENCOURAGING EXHORTATION

Therefore strengthen your 

limp hands and weak knees. 

Make straight paths for 

your feet, so that the lame 

may not be disabled, but 

rather healed.

(Hebrews 12:12-13, BSB)  

Some days I feel weary, discouraged, and overwhelmed. But that's okay. So did Moses, Elijah, and King David, to name a few.

One of the things that discourages me the most is that I can no longer do some of the things I took for granted--like being able to just get in my car and drive myself to a scenic place or to visit friends who live more than an hour, tops, away, or go for walks with my camera. 

Some of it is my own fault because I keep neglecting my body. Exercise should be at the top of my list of priorities, but instead, it keeps getting put on the back burner, and I keep procrastinating and making excuses. As a result, my back is deteriorating fast. 

And there's also no good excuse for not getting out and walking, even though I can't do it as I did before, because I do have a rollator, which is just gathering dust in my car.

Anyway, all that to say, the above verse and devotion in my Streams In The Desert devotional this morning practically jumped off the page at me. I think--no, I'm sure--it was a very timely word for me.

The message (personalized) was that God really is ready to heal my physical issues if I would be consistent in my efforts to exert myself and get moving. No more one day on and four days off. It's time to stop making excuses and just DO IT!!! Even if I don't feel as though I can. I need to remind myself that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and not be looking for an easy fix.

The devotion went on to exhort me to march "through the flood" and the waters will part as the Lord leads me through to victory. But it's up to me to start marching if I want my body to be healed and my faith strengthened.

Move straight ahead, it exhorted me. Pay as little attention to discouragement as possible, and "plow ahead like a steamship, which moves forward whether facing rough or smooth seas." Leave no place unconquered behind you where Satan can boast of having overwhelmed you.

Abba, Father, please work in me to give me the willingness, commitment, and strength to follow through on this commitment to regular, consistent exercise that I am making today, and may the results glorify your Name and be a testimony that encourages others in the same place I was, and gives them hope. In Jesus' Name. Amen!

A LESSON REINFORCED

Trust in the LORD with all your

heart; do not depend on your 

own understanding. Seek his 

will in all you do, and he will

show you which path to take.

(Proverbs 3:5-6, NLT)

To trust means to walk by faith, not by sight; to follow directions regardless of whether they seem to make sense or not, but how easy it is to be swayed by our own intellect or what our senses tell us. A truth I was reminded of (not for the first time) on my way into town the other day.

The Maps app was on, and long before I would have needed its help, the voice was telling me to get off at the next exit. I thought maybe I had entered the address I was going to wrong, but couldn't check it out while driving. What to do?

My intellect was screaming at me not to do it. Town lay straight ahead. I must have accidentally entered the wrong destination. 

Since I was not in any hurry, I decided to follow the instructions even though they did not make sense. I was sure Maps was wrong, but I was also curious to see what would happen and where I would end up if I did what the voice was telling me to do.

Turned out Maps was right, and I was wrong. As I approached the exit, traffic had become bumper to bumper and moving slower than a snail. (This picture was taken through the windshield.) 

After I exited and took the turn it told me to, the road was clear ahead, and even though it was a bit of a detour, it took me straight to where I needed to go in much less time than it would have taken me in the stop and go traffic I would have been stuck in.