31 BLESSINGS (THANKFUL NOVEMBER)

Thinking about this devotional on a day that started out full of frustrations at not being able to format something the way I needed to, and wasting so much time in the trying that I didn't have to spare.

That triggered a teary pity party fueled by thoughts of things I can no longer do that I would like to, and how this is not just a temporary phase.

My party was interrupted by a couple of encouraging texts that were a good example of what the devotional meant when it said God's blessings often come in the middle of everyday life when we could most use a reminder of His love. And so they have. 

A comment from one of my blog friends saying she's thankful for my friendship, a text from my daughter inviting me to join them at the beach in July, an unexpected phone call from a long-time friend I miss and who lives in another state, a large car repair paid for by my church family, a gift membership to our senior center from a dear local friend. That's five huge blessings right there.

Another 13 are the 7 grandchildren and 6 great-grands in my life that I never expected to live long enough to see.

Blessings 18 to 31 plus are blessings so easily taken for granted, that this very uplifting song lists and gives thanks for.

If I hadn't already reached 31, I would add livestreams to my list. They have opened up so many doors, such as being able to attend the Brooklyn Tabernacle services on Sundays where I first heard this song.

HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN FAITHFUL TO ME

Heard this beautiful old song today, and it says it all. 

 

When things are looking scary or bleak, may I never forget that no matter how dark things may have looked in different seasons of my life, He has always been faithful to me.

STRIVING FOR STABILITY

You will keep in perfect peace those

whose minds are steadfast because

they trust in you. -- Isaiah 26:3, NIV

A crazy day of ups and downs left me feeling drained and understanding the wisdom of keeping an even keel where my emotions are concerned rather than allowing myself to feel extreme highs or lows according to whether what I am experiencing seems good or bad. Right now it seems easier said than done though.

I know the key is to keep my eyes on the Lord and not get upset by frustrations or things that don't go the way I expect or want them to--or get carried away when they do. 

Today I felt tossed between extreme highs and lows. Highs when I received a wonderful belated birthday present and later, an unexpected invitation out for lunch. Plummeting to lows when I missed a phone call from someone I would really have liked to talk to and they did not call back, and when Word quit on me when I was in the middle of a work assignment. Plummeting even lower as frustration arose when I tried to find something I needed but couldn't, and when my mind refused to cooperate as I searched for the right words to express something I was trying to say.

If life is a school, then today was a test day that I did not score very well on. It did however reinforce the importance of not letting my emotions control me or tell me what reality is.

This song reminded me to trust God and keep my focus on Him.

 

IN SURRENDER THERE IS PEACE

Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you in turmoil within 

me? Hope in God, for I shall again

praise him, my salvation and my 

God. -- Psalm 42:6, ESV

It's hard not to feel discouraged when it's one thing after another, and I feel useless, tired, and overwhelmed. Makes me feel like throwing up my hands in defeat and calling it quits. But then I think just maybe my breakthrough is about to appear and if I quit I'll miss something really awesome. So instead, I'm throwing up my hands in surrender.

In surrender there is peace. I can stop second-guessing about why things are the way they are and trust that God is in control and has a perfect plan that nothing or anyone can thwart. And His plan is always the best plan because He sees the whole picture, which I do not. 

What is going to be is going to be, and there's no point stressing over it. And why should I stress when I know He loves me, and despite how things have ever looked in the natural, true to His Word (Romans 8:28) He has always come through for me and worked things out for my good and His glory. As I look back in retrospect over the course of my life to the times when things were looking pretty grim and far from what I would have wanted or expected, I've seen this played out over and over again. 

As I chose to leave all the things that are stressing me at the foot of the cross and surrender the outcomes to the Lord, I felt as though He was approving my decision through the voice of someone on the radio who was ending his message by saying, "If you really trust, there is no cause for concern."

HOLD ON JUST A LITTLE BIT LONGER

So let's not get tired of doing

what is good. At just the right 

time we will reap a harvest of

blessing if we don't give up.

-- Galatians 6:9, NLT

I've been feeling pretty down lately. No matter what I do, and despite my best intentions, I keep falling short. 

Every now and then there seems to be a faint glimmer at the end of the tunnel, like at PT, when my sessions with a new therapist had seemed so promising, but his schedule was so booked I spent what seemed like a lot of wasted time on the wait list waiting for a cancellation that never opened up. And now there are only two appointments left before he relocates and there's no way we can reach the goal he thought he could get me to before then. 

Even though I know God is in control and that He could easily have opened up the door for more appointments, and even though I know that ultimately my healing comes from Him, it's hard not to feel discouraged and disappointed.

Today I was feeling pretty hopeless, not just about my PT experience, but also about the financial pit I've been trying so hard to climb out of, and wondering what's the use of trying. It's getting harder and harder to keep on keeping on.

And then, during my quiet time, this little picture about perseverance came to mind, as did Galatians 6:9, and when I turned on the radio, the song "Hold On Just A Little Bit Longer" was playing. A loving reminder to switch my focus from my circumstances to my God who is seated on the throne and in control, who is working all things together for my good and His glory, and to trust in His perfect timing.

I am so grateful for His mercies that are new every morning, and that He never gives up on me.

HIS WAY IS BETTER THAN MY WAY

The LORD says, I will guide you along the

best pathway for your life. I will advise you

and watch over you. -- Psalm 32:8, NLT

Slowly, slowly, God has been revealing idols in my life I didn't even realize were idols, and how I have been relying on them instead of on Him and trying to micromanage outcomes that only He has control over. One by one, He has been stripping them away and redirecting my focus to where it needs to be. 

One major area has been work. Even though He has always provided for my needs and I've never been lacking, I exhaust myself working insane hours to try and get out of a financial pit He has allowed to get even deeper just to drive home the point that my efforts will never be enough. Yes, He expects me to do my best, but then leave the outcome to Him, knowing that He is the ultimate source of my supply. 

I have made idols of doctors and phlebotomists and now the new physical therapist who is doing wonders, but who is so booked up I spend a lot of time on his wait list waiting for cancellations. Again, instead  of trusting the outcome to the Lord who is the ultimate healer, I've been stressing about not being able to get enough appointments and the gaps between them being too long, when the fact is that  the Lord knows exactly how many appointments I need and when, and is quite capable of opening one up when He feels I need it, and without any help from me trying to manipulate things to fit what I think is best. 

 

It is so much more relaxing to relinquish control and rest in the knowledge that God's ways are better than my ways. I may not understand what He is doing at any given point or why, but I can trust that He is always in control and He sees the whole picture, the end from the beginning, whereas my view is limited to just one small piece of it. 

Things may not work out the way I want them to or expect they should, but of one thing I am sure. His plan is always the better plan and I might miss out on it if I try to hold too tightly to what I think is best and get in His way.  

IT'S ONLY A TEST

Stay alert! Watch out for your great

enemy, the devil. He prowls around

like a roaring lion, looking for

someone to devour. -- 1 Peter 5:8, NLT

This earth is not our home. It is more like a classroom where those who are in Christ and have accepted His gift of salvation are being refined, perfected, and molded into His image. The trials God allows build endurance, develop character, strengthen our spiritual muscles, and serve as a measure of our progress as we journey through life. 

My dying friend and her husband are shining examples of what it means to trust in God without wavering. His love shines through them even in the midst of their affliction, and their testimony has ministered to and encouraged me as well as many others. 

My friend's husband just sent out an update to let us know that she had been moved to an inpatient hospice facility. It included a beautiful tribute to her, as well as an account of how he had been able to witness to several people at the facility she was being transferred from about the goodness of God in the midst of the unexplainable. 

He likened their cancer experience to part of a masterpiece tapestry God is creating in which all of the good and "bad" things that have happened are being woven into the finished product. The difficult experiences are just as important to its beauty as are the joyful ones, and even though we may not understand or be able to make sense of them now, when we get to heaven the glory and beauty of what God has done will be revealed and we will marvel at it. Wow!  

My issues are so different from the ones my friend and her family are facing, and not nearly as devastating, but equally difficult to understand. For sure they aren't what I was expecting when I entered this chapter of my life with a blank notebook in which to record the things the Lord was about to do. 

He is doing many things, but not what I expected. I have had to give up my concept of what I think is best and acknowledge that not only are God's ways not my ways, but His way is the only way. He sees the whole picture, whereas my view is very limited. I need to trust that no matter what things may be looking like in the natural, He is in control and is working things out for my good and His glory (Romans 8:28).

I also need to remember that trials test the genuineness of our faith when Satan pushes our buttons and tries to get us to doubt the goodness of God, but God has given us all the tools we need in order to ace the test. He has given us His armor, His Word with which to counter every lie of the enemy, and the assurance that if we keep our eyes firmly fixed on Jesus and resist the devil, He will flee (Ephesians 6:11, 13; James 4:7). 

LORD, HELP ME OVERCOME MY UNBELIEF

Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do

not depend on your own understanding.

Seek his will in all you do, and he will

show you which path to take. --

Proverbs 3:5-6, NLT

Today has been spent pondering many unsettling things I don't understand. Like why a friend who was making great progress in her cancer journey took a sudden turn for the worse and is now very close to the end. Or why every time I think I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel where my finances are concerned, it is soon followed by a major setback like my flipper breaking, or needing new glasses. 

Life has been so unpredictable. One thing after another has failed to turn out the way I anticipated it would. The only thing I can be sure of is that God loves me, that He is in control, and that I need to trust Him no matter how things may be looking in the natural. Sometimes though,  my faith wavers and I feel weary, and it's easier said than done. Like the father in Mark 9:24 I too want to cry out to Jesus, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief."

One of my devotionals today had some timely words of encouragement. It reminded me that it was only when Peter took his eyes off of Jesus and fixed his gaze on the wind and the waves that his fear got the better of him and he started to drown.  The reality was that Jesus had His eyes on Peter from the very beginning, and there was no reason for him to be afraid.

God is with us every moment of every day, and if we keep our eyes on Jesus, the storms of life will not be able to engulf us and suck us down. 

SECOND CHANCES

Trust in the LORD with all your 

heart and lean not on your own 

understanding; in all your ways 

submit to him, and he will make 

your paths straight. -- 

Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV

I really took the lesson in yesterday's post to heart. Praying this time it sticks.

Was going to go on an outing to the Museum of the Shenandoah Valley with Joanne after church today.

Even though my back felt sort of okay, I started having all kinds of doubts. Maybe I should suggest we stay local and just take a walk on the trail since it's a bit of a trip to Winchester, and what if we get there and I can't walk--even with the rollator. Maybe I should take Motrin before setting out, just in case.

But then I decided no, I'm going to trust God to make it happen, and He did.

It was a beautiful day, not too hot when we started out. I did not take any Motrin, and I did not suggest staying local. So off to Winchester we went, and had a wonderful day. 

My rollator is awesome. With a couple of brief rests, I was able to walk around the gardens with Joanne, see all of the lego exhibit, and even the exhibits of miniatures in the gallery and in the Glen Burnie house. A total of approximately 3100 steps with no pain except for the occasional stiffness and ache that was quickly relieved by a few minutes of sitting on my rollator seat.

When we got home I even had enough energy left to make us some lunch,

Had I trusted in the voices in my head instead of in the Lord, I would have missed out on a wonderful gift of a very special outing with a very special daughter.

FEELING SAD

Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave

and courageous. Yes, wait patiently

for the LORD. -- Psalm 27:14, NLT

For the last couple of days I'd been composing a post in my mind about finding hope in unexpected places. Ever since I saw a little bit of green in the midst of what I thought was a very dead lantana plant I had tried to propagate in a pot on my balcony.

I so wanted that to be a miracle in the making that the next time I went out to check on it and smelled the strong sweet aroma that attracts butterflies and bees, I was convinced this was a God wink. Maybe it would have been had I left good enough alone. 

It was a really hot day, the soil was still moist, and there was rain in the forecast, but instead of trusting God to care for my lantana plant just as he cares for the thriving lantana jungle growing outside the front door to my building, I watered it anyway. Big mistake!

Two days later when I went to check on it again, there was no more aroma. This time the plant really was dead. The water that filled the dish under the pot gave evidence that I had drowned it. 

I felt devastated, and as I pondered what to change the title of my post to--Feeling Sad, or Slow Learner--a memory came to mind of a long time ago when the Lord had wanted to bless me (I thought) in a way that would have been so amazing and unexpected I was already rehearsing the testimony in my mind. But things weren't moving along as fast or as smoothly as I had thought they would and so I tried to help God along (as though He needed my help) by manipulating circumstances to try and rush things along instead of waiting on His timing. As a result, it all fell through, my life was turned upside down, and I lost the blessing I thought was to be mine, plus a whole lot more.

In the end, it all worked out for good, and though I didn't get the testimony I wanted to have, maybe the Lord allowed things to happen the way they did because He had something quite different in mind than what I was expecting. Something that, in the long run, was a much better plan.

When will I ever learn to just trust Him and go with the flow instead of trying to second-guess what He is up to and force an outcome I don't even know for sure is actually part of His plan? 

HE IS STRONGER

So let's not get tired of doing what is good. 

At just the right time we will reap a harvest

of blessing if we don't give up. -- Galatians

6:9, NLT

Was feeling so weary and discouraged today. 

For a little while I had felt hope when I discovered I could walk with a walker without pain, and then again when I had an appointment with a new physical therapist who seemed to really help and felt strongly that I had not reached a plateau yet. But then the next couple of walks were painful, and the therapist's schedule is so booked up that the only appointments I was able to get were few and far between. 

In the middle of my pity party, my thoughts of doom and gloom were interrupted by an urge to watch Sunday's Brooklyn Tabernacle livestream that I had not had a chance to watch on Sunday. 

Usually by the next day the praise and worship segment is gone, and only the message is archived, but today (two days later), it was still there, and I felt as though the worship leader was speaking directly to me as she introduced the chorus, "Stronger." 

Her words: "Whatever you are facing today, Jesus is stronger. Rest in Him. Know that He is fighting on your behalf. He is with you. He will strengthen you and give you everything you need to walk in victory,"

That was a reminder and exhortation that I really needed to hear.

SAVOR THE MOMENT

For I hold you by your right hand--

I, the LORD your God. And I say 

to you, "Don't be afraid. I am here 

to help you. -- Isaiah 41:13, NLT

This morning I was writing a post on my other blog for a weekly challenge I participate in. The prompt was the word MOMENT.

As soon as I saw the prompt, the tune and first couple of lines of an old hymn started playing in my mind and I couldn't get them out of my head.

                    Day by day, and with each passing moment,

                   Strength I find to meet my trials here;

                   Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,

                   I've no cause for worry or for fear.

When I looked up the rest of the lyrics on Google, they contained a very timely and encouraging message, as well as a reminder to stay in the present moment and savor the good ones rather than allow anxious thoughts about the future rob me of the blessings right in front of my nose.

Today has contained many moments to savor. Waking up to a brand new day with less pain than the day before; noticing that the constant grab and pull ache in my hip was almost gone; having my prayer partner stop by for a live visit instead of our weekly Zoom; finding a can of one of my favorite soups a neighbor left outside my door; the delightful surprise of stepping into a cool, breezy day instead of the oppressive heat of the past several days that I've been trying my best to avoid; being able to take a short walk wthout my walker; getting some really good shots of the bees in the lantana jungle growing in front of our building; and being able to turn off the A/C and open the door to the balcony when I came back upstairs.